#rosie's rants

[schmidtsbimbo]

no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponential, logarithmic, while I gasp for air, scream and see the light, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy, backwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, the the bed of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, have the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, dick throbbing, fist clenching, ear ringing, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earthquaking, sheet gripping, knuckles cracking, jaw dropping, hair pulling, teeth jitterbug, mind boggling, soul snatching, overstimulating, vile, sloppy, moan inducing, heart wrenching, spine tingling, back breaking, atrocious, gushy, creamy, beastly, lip biting, gravity defying, nail biting, sweaty, feet kicking, mind blowing, bone breaking, world ending, black hole creating, universe destroying, head nodding, soul evaporating, volcano erupting, trembling, sheets soaked, hair drenched, flabbergasting, lip locking, skin peeling, eyelash removing, eye widening, pussy popping, nail scratching, back cuts, spectacular, brain cell desolving, hair ripping, mouth foaming, heavenly, awakening, devils tango ever bro could cause a nuclear bomb inside me and I'd still ride

[thesupernaturalhouse]

Rosie is like that wine aunt who judges you relationship but like, actually does a good job and gives dman good advice-

Rosie: You two need to go on a date

Vaggie: well- I mean yeah but- just, the hotel is busy-

Rosie: You both are busy 24/7 with that little pojext of hers. When was the last time you went on a date??

Vaggie: i...last month?

Rosie: You need to go on a date with her.

Vaggie: well- we don't need dates we're fine- and busy!

Rosie: But it'd still be nice to have the quality time with her, right?

Vaggie:....yeah....

Rosie: Then you need to either plan a date or hint that you want her to plan a date

Vaggie:.....yeah okay...

Rosie: Also, take your time....but tell her about the missing wings and halo

Vaggie: wait wha-

Rosie: You let it slip in the middle of your rant, and it's not that big of a suprise. I'm not sure how nobody else has figured it out yet

Vaggie: wondering how tf she didn't remember any of her rants (she was to wound up to really pay attention to what she was saying)

Meanwhile

Carmilla perks up:....I feel like someone is talking......shakes head doesn't matter.

Part 5 | Part 6(here!) | Part 7

[rosietrace]

This is a personal rant about my thoughts on Greek mythology retellings, and just the way Fantasy books and the publishing industry is at this point 🧍‍♀️

I have nothing against Greek mythology retellings, or just anything Greek mythology related in fantasy in general!

However, I have certain gripes about the way Greek mythology is portrayed in media, specifically in the way its interpreted in Fantasy.

[ More under the cut! ]

I love Percy Jackson, and I think that Uncle Rick did a wonderful job at expanding the world and making Greek, Roman, Egyptian, and Norse mythology entertaining and easily digestible for young audiences. Genuinely, he does a better job at writing children's books than R*wling could ever be capable of.

However, as much as I can love PJO as much as I do, I still find certain bits of the world building and character writing as... Very hit and miss.

To start, I don't like the way Ares was written in the series. I can understand that it would make sense for his personality to be that way, because he's the God of War and it helps with Clarisse's character development; but I find fault in it because Ares in the myths is nothing like PJO Ares. (He literally killed one of Poseidon's sons because he raped his daughter, Alcippe, and he's one of the only gods who doesn't hump anything that can breathe in air. At least Ares has the courtesy of asking for consent 💀)

The Gods being the reason behind WWII and Hitler being a child of Hades. All I must say.

The portrayal of the Aphrodite cabin

The fact that Athena can have children. Annabeth, pjo fandom at large, I love you are, but you gotta admit it must've felt weird when you first read the books and you find out Athena — the maiden Goddess of Wisdom — can have offspring. Regardless of the reasoning, I still find it weird 😭 (EDIT: I've now just remembered that it was a reference to how Athena herself was created 🤡 I'm a clown)

I get that the Hermes cabin is also the cabin for the unclaimed, but couldn't have Hestia's cabin worked too? She doesn't have offspring, sure, but it probably would've made more sense for the unclaimed to go to Hestia's cabin so that the Hermes cabin wouldn't be so crowded

This isn't really a world building issue, but I think I should bring it up: I'm not saying this against the Kane Chronicles fandom, but... Sadie and Anubis. Why. Like you can't convince me that no one WASN'T weirded out by that.

Less of a complaint and more of a question because I can't remember if the question was answered in HoO or not, but when Percy told the Gods to start claiming their unclaimed children and be more decent parents (as he should, go off king), did that request apply to the Romans at Camp Jupiter too? Because that's gotta have been confusing when the unclaimed kids at CP suddenly started getting claimed 😭😭

I could go on a whole ass tangent about PJO, but that would make this post longer than it needs to be 😭😭 and any of the points might not make much sense, since I haven't read the books in a LONG time

Off to the YA Fantasy segment... Hoo boy.

The oversaturation of Hades/Persephone retellings makes me SEETHE. Why is it always Hades and Persephone why can't it be something else 😭

I just don't like the “modern feminist” retellings of Greek myths in the YA Fantasy genre, in general. They tend to completely miss the point of the original myth, and it's the case with a lot of Hades and Persephone retellings where they try to paint Hades as the good guy taking Persephone away from her control freak mother, Demeter.

Because that wasn't what the myth was about. The myth isn't a love story, at least, not a romantic one. It was about Demeter's love for Persephone and how much she wanted her daughter back after Hades stole her away. Keep in mind, in the historical context of the myth, the daughters of women in ancient Greece never really get to see their mothers after their engagements are solidified.

If they wanted to make a “feminist” retelling of the myth, they'd have it centered around the love Demeter had for Persephone to almost doom the mortal realm to an eternal winter to get her back.

I love the myth of Hades and Persephone, truly, I do. I understand the appeal it has on people, the appeal it has one me. I can see why people adore the myth in the way they do because Hades is one of the better husbands in Greek mythology (a low bar, but my point still stands).

Personally, I blame Lore Olympus and especially the video of the myth by Overly Sarcastic Productions for the way the myth is portrayed in mass media. And I say this as a former LO fan and a fan of Overly Sarcastic Productions 😭

I'd also want to go into my many, MANY gripes about “Crown of Starlight” by Cait Corrain, but in all honesty? I don't think I can properly convey how much I DESPISE Cait and their book. So I'd highly recommend y'all to check out the videos about Cait Corrain by Reads With Rachel, WithCindy, and Xiran Jay Zhao on YouTube if you're interested in going into more detail about the controversies, especially for those who weren't made aware of it.

I feel like the publishing industry just... Isn't good anymore, after Booktok went viral. Reading has been “hot girlified”, and all Booktok seems to ask when they get recommended a book is: “Is it spicy??”

Reading is like fast fashion, now. It's all based around certain popular tropes that that's how books are promoted now. Not for the plot — or sometimes lack thereof — but for the tropes the book has.

The only thing I can thank Booktok for is that they helped me discover The Cruel Prince. And even then, it's marketed as romance on there, when it's a political fantasy with a romance subplot.

‼️ Woah! A secret bonus section! ‼️

I, personally, don't read — nor do I like — Sarah J Maas. (Especially considering the problematic aspects of her storytelling, character portrayals, and is (apparently, correct me if I'm wrong) a Zionist)

However, that isn't to say that I don't like some of the characters she makes. A lot of them have potential, actually! From what I've seen, I think Nesta, Gwyn, Azriel, Eris, Tamlin and Lucien from ACOTAR are the only characters I actually like, based on what I've heard — and seen — on anything in the SJM critical tag on this hellsite.

And while we're at it, let's discuss the elephant in the room with ACOTAR, right? Rhysand.

By all that is good and holy, I hate Rhysand so much and I think I'd hate him even more if I actually READ the books. I don't get why Booktok is so invested in him when Maas retconned Tamlin's character to make him look better as Feyre's love interest.

Also, from what I recall, didn't Rhysand sexually assault Feyre? And he didn't bother to apologize for it, and justified it with his sad tragic backstory??

I can't with y'all, istg 😭 the fact that “Feysand” is apparently a Hades and Persephone retelling too makes me even more mad about it because it isn't even a GOOD retelling. It just takes away what ACOTAR originally was— a Beauty and the Beast retelling, with Feyre and Tamlin as the leads.

Didn't Maas dedicate ACOTAR to her husband because “He would go under the mountain” for her??? BECAUSE IT CERTAINLY WASN'T RHYSAND WHO SAVED FEYRE FROM UTM, I'LL TELL YOU THAT

I think, out of all the series Maas has made thus far, Throne of Glass is the only one I ACTUALLY kind of like, based on what I've heard. Crescent City seems to be too complicated to understand, and even though I've never read it myself, I miss what ACOTAR could've been. (My hope lies with Nesta, Elucien and Gwynriel, at this point)

[pinkcreamypeach]

Random post but /still not a fan of the show/

Rosie x Sir pentious (Opinion!!)

They've been a cute couple.

I've been thinking a lot about Rosie x Sir Pentious, and it makes sense to me. It would have been fun to watch Sir Pentious attempt to impress a beautiful overlord like Rosie. He would comically mess up, but this would only make Rosie like him more. The way he tries and tries to act like a gentleman would only make her like him even more. They could have had tea and chatted about old times, with Rosie talking about her town and Sir Pentious talking about his egg boys.Or perhaps they could have had a sweet friendship. Sir Pentious needs more friends too.

I can't seem to hate this ship. In fact, I find it sweet and sweetens my day whenever I think about it.

Besides all of that, I can see Cherri as either lesbian or asexual, which would provide representation for the ace community. I used to ship Sir Pentious and Cherri due to the fanart, but after watching the show, they failed to make me feel anything towards the ship. My reaction was neutral when seeing them together, and while I did not despise the prospect of them becoming a couple, I simply could not get invested in their romance.

Author note:[ Your freedom to ship anything you like is always respected. Please do not perceive my personal opinions or thoughts as an indication of dislike towards your own ship or any other ship. I simply wish to express my feelings and thoughts as an individual, and do not intend any hurtful messages or feelings towards you or the ship you support.]

[witch-oftheflowers]

Fall swept through the forest land. The hues of orange and yellow filled the trees. Leaves flowing through the wind and cascading down.

The Riley household was quiet.

Well besides the squeak of the bed springs.

The grunts leaving Ximena's lips as she wore an oversized hoodie. She was buried in it. Her half hazed eyes staring down to her husband as she rode him. Her painted nails scrapped his chest as she tried to find some grip

"It to much-"

" 'ous fine.... 'ake it all pretty girl..."Simon groaned out as his hips rutted up. Slamming Ximena deep as she flinched. Her thighs squeezing his sides as she heard the lewd noises her cunt was making.

"Simon~!" She called out as she felt him quicken his pace. His large hands gripping her thighs harsh, leaving hand prints on her skin. The hoodie covering her massive chest, but he noticed them bouncing underneath. Seeing the fabric moving as she did

"Good girl..." He praised her softly as he continued his relentless thrust.

[piltoverfinest]

Finished my first run of BG3 today and what can I say...I don't know if I will ever be able to not look at Gale with complete heart-eyes. I love him. And that ending...ugh. Perfection. How am I supposed to romance someone else now?

I literally chose Karlach for an Origin Run for the second run now because that is the only way I can justify to my brain why I am not romancing Gale as soon as I pull him out of his portal. Karlach and Wyll are endgame, so there is no way to romance Gale. (I knoooooow there is, gameplay-wise)

Anyway, what I am trying to say is: Help. I have fallen for the Rizzard of Waterdeep and can't get up. And if you have especially good fanart or fanfics to recommend, I would love suggestions. 🩷

[confused-pie]

Well I'm glad she's okay, I'm just surprised that it's the first time this has happened for a lady...you'd think after three years, at least one lady would've tested positive and then negative at some point, but ok....

[thebackboneofthevees]

i envision all alastor ships to either be one sided, platonic or queer platonic. NEVER an inbetween. queerplatonic radiorose though.. that hits different (they’re bestie goals fr)

[rosiehunterwolf]

Please just tell me my internet is being slow and ao3 is not down AGAIN-

[looney-mooney-studio]

I’ve been meaning to make a doodle comic about this insane series of events. My first child born in the Town of the Lamb had one heck of a day! Image IDs in alt text, especially if you can’t read my handwriting!!

[bylergetonefree]

getting high, sending risky texts to my situationship, and writing gay fanfiction while blaring “casual” on repeat. just as chappell roan intended

[schmidtsbimbo]

i would never talk back. dinner would always be ready and served. the house would be spotless. as many kids as he wants.

[rosemusic]

This.

I went out yesterday to the mall and I overheard two-few conversations too many that made me feel sick to my stomach. Things like people talking about how members of the community are freaks and f******. About how "Our kids will end up getting groomed by them!"

Like it really drove home the point for me that just like how between Tumblr, Pinterest, Instagram and YouTube I've become so much more confident in the body I have, the stretchmarks I have, AND my bisexuality?

That's not the case irl.

In real life I am someone who is considered "chubby with some double chin and stomach rolls, with weird stretchmarks that I should be getting rid of" and "A freak, someone who's just confused, weirdo, f**, creep etc."

[gamerbot-22]

[helltigon]

No one: My brain for some reason: what if huskerdusk au where Husk is owned by Vox and Angel is owned by Rosie

[witch-oftheflowers]

Price or ghost with a cat-girl??

Oh my God I can just see it!

Like Price would love a cat girl let's be real. I'm thinking hybrid too since you didn't specify. And like imagine this man coming home from a long mission. He's tired worn out and he ran out of cigars at some point-

And he sees his sweet girlfriend that was home. Keeping the usual empty apartment filled with life. Her ears twitching as she heard him shuffling in. And he'll be covered in kisses and love. Telling him to relax and just take a load off. She'll pamper him and he just adores the way her ears twitch with excitement he came home Aaaaah!

Now Ghost. Omg he would act annoyed I can feel it. He'll stare at her like how did I get in this mess? But honestly Simon would adore his gf. The idea of this once cold heartless man. Let's be real he isn't heartless he just acts it. Besides the point-

Coming back to the bleak apartment. She's probably bit sporadic as she was napping. Apartment cleaned and kept. Probably has some plants hanging around. It looks lived in. Little trinkets of hers as she likes pretty things. And she'll welcome him calmly. Ease him back in as she knows he needs it. And they'll eat snack and catch up. Her tail will sway as they rekindle a bit as she eased him from Ghost to Simon- honestly she'll be his anchor a bit. With a bit of spice to keep him on his feet. Like how she likes to bite-

Thank you!! This was fun💗